Medair by Andrea K Höst

Author:Andrea K Höst
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: epic fantasy, fantasy romance, high fantasy, australian author, australian fantasy, aurealis award, aftermath of war
Publisher: Andrea K Höst

-oOo-

"Medair?"

This time it was Ileaha. Medair raked the girl from head to toe with a searching glance, then closed her eyes. "Would you ever betray your Kier, Ileaha?" Her voice was harsh.

"I–" Ileaha took two steps forward, then stopped. "No," she said flatly, as if Medair were inviting such an action rather than asking a question. "Inelkar is Kier. I would give my life for her."

"Even if it seemed the right thing to do? If it would prevent deaths?"

"What seems the right thing to do is not always the best path, Medair," Ileaha replied. She was uncertain of the ground she was venturing onto, but sure of her convictions. "On my name day I gave oath to serve, to obey, to protect. There are no ifs or buts or half-measures. That is like being a little bit pregnant."

Medair lifted the corner of her mouth in a weak smile. "Partly a traitor. You are very certain. And if your Kier were killed, and the survivors surrendered, would you serve Estarion? What do you do when everything has changed but you, Ileaha?"

"If my Kier were killed, my life would already have been spent."

"Matters do not always arrange themselves so conveniently."

"Perhaps not." The young woman stood behind the couch recently vacated, trying to find hidden meaning in Medair's questions. "We will not surrender, Medair, even if the opportunity were offered to us. If I survived my Kier, I would avenge her, or die in the attempt."

"Like a Medarist, fighting on when the cause is lost?"

"That's no comparison," Ileaha objected. "The Medarists fight over something long past, something they did not participate in. Like Estarion, they ground their violence in the dead, lay blame on the living, and have motives based in greed rather than justice."

"Some of them think it just," Medair said, and frowned down at the paper in her hands, not truly seeing it. Cor-Ibis hadn't changed anything, except by making her feel a little unhappier. Baiting Ileaha as a way to lash her own wounds was pointless. She couldn't decide how her oath bound her, could not resolve the conflicting voices of conscience. She wanted so much to give in, to relinquish the burden she carried to those who needed it, but could not bring herself to take a step she knew she would always regard as a betrayal. Give the salvation of the Empire to those who had destroyed it?

"For you have to ask, Ileaha," she said, wearily. "What is justice? Whatever Estarion's motives, can you deny the very core of his arguments? That the Ibis-lar stole Palladium, that an Ibisian on the Silver Throne will always cause dissension, that the hatreds will not die?"

"I stole nothing, Medair," Ileaha replied, skin splotchy with anger, hurt in her eyes.

"No."

Medair retrieved her satchel from underneath the couch, then handed Ileaha the crumpled map. "This is the Mersian Herald's, I believe."

She left without farewells, tired of talking to people who could not understand because she dared not explain. Ileaha did not try to stop her, and the guards did not seem to know she was not supposed to go.

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